Fried Marquee Tables

Mooj penguin spotters

First of all, please take part in the forum poll on how good is Elwam_53. It is located under the title "Basically..."! (Sorry about the title and how misleading it is. But of course, first read the rules because we don't want to have to induce any temporary bans.

Secondly, the process of frying marquee tables is very ingenious, but nonetheless, extremely pointless. First of all, you must take a leaf from the rare gondola tree and then put one of these extremely strange and unfortunate leaves at the edge of a cliff and have one of those ridiculous ostrich looking ovens roll over it. The leaf should still be on the cliff now so you leave it and go fry a marquee table. In the abnormal case that the leaf sticks to the oven, run after it shouting "SQUAAARKLEDOBLEFLARGEN!" at it and diving at it until it stops and begins to make a clucking sound. It will then begin to transform itself into a thermometer and bury deep underground. Now the dreaded theory of mashed habits (see post 4) starts to come in and we shall all burn up in a giant ball of porous icicles.

Now I am here to make a prophecy. I am not a prophet. This will not be a real prophecy. It shall be all in the name of nature and humour. This shall be one of the strange and wonderful philosophy-related things I come up with on Friday morning at 9:33. *Clears throat.* This is it.
The man who looks to the crab-apple tree in the hope of glory and crab-apples shall be in vain, whereas the man who looks toward the great Pompadompa tree and shall sacrifice himself to save another world shall inadvertently find freedom, happiness and a leg. He shall also stop the danger that awaits the whole of the human race.
Now that prophecy may not have made a whole lot of sense- heck, I didn't mean it to, but it will explain the next bit of my story.

You see, six hundred years ago, there lived a king. He was an extremely selfish king and when a traveller came from far away, he sent the man away without second thought. But the traveller was no ordinary man. He carried in his hamper a froolfroog (a cross between a fish and a roolfroog) which immediately turned to clockwork whenever he touched its lips. This froolfroog was a female and had in its womb two eggs. The man conjured up whatever he wanted to give to the froolfroog until it had to go to the sacred birthing ground on its homeworld so they crept into their parked in the carriage park of the castle, punkrocking, blatant to even the naked eye from a mile away as a spaceship, spaceship. It was pink. With blue and bright yellow stripes. So they flew off to the planet Garlandandandandandandandandfish where mattresses reign supreme. The two babies were born but with a substantial difference to the mother. They were not froolfroogs. They were not even of a charted species. They were the children of the wonderful, sacred PM00starka (the P at the beginning is silent so it is pronounced May-ree-or-stay-relatively-ka) which was a great squid said to be in the bottom of the sand dunes of Garlandandandandandandandandfish. One of the children, just one, was said to bring balance to the fabric of everything. Wars raged over many faroff and close by lands. Garlandandandandandandandandfish was one of the few worlds that housed peace and tranquility. Whether it would stay like that, no-one knew, but one thing was for sure, one boy would bring balance. Squids are supposed to have eight legs. Even three-of-a-kind prophecied sacred ones. But the two boys, named Jarga and Miltin and also the long dead sacred one PM00starka or Roofing-And-Housing-Company had seven. And that is the cliffhanger I shall leave you with today.

You'll have to wait until next post to know what happens. And now I have a cat crawling all over the keyboard and me with muddy paws (Zoombini) so I shall cut this short.


Anyway bye until I post again.

THE FORUM

Mooj penguin spotters

Yeah. What Lombro said.

houston we have a forum

today will always be recognised as the day elwam got a forum. it's a bit of an eyesore, im afraid, but i'm sure itll turn out fine.

it can be found at http://elwam.myfreeforum.org.

[btw TP is ssstoggins and im admin, just so's u dont get confused.


anyway, onto the post

the humble rug. the opposite of the mantel piece. the refuge of see-saws. but now, we have a shocking secret about rugs. it is...(i'm not going to give it away that easily, you'll have to go on the forums(clever marketing technique there) to see rest of post.)

dave the shittiest flash eva!

yo man this the first flash we eva made. its shit, i know, but a firts try nevertheless. got blammed form NG with a score of... 0.1. try harder next time i think.

Apologies

Mooj penguin spotters

Friday, November 25th, 2005 is a day that will live in infamy. Our most recent post was on that day and I have come here to apologise for Lombro's terrible, awful language that he used. I mean "Cat turd". "Jelly babies". Come on. Let's get on the ball here Lombro and fix up your act. Also, your typing needs to improve. Basically, the last post was a post in which all of the laws of physics were defied! To be exact, I think that Lombro has started floating. It's really starting to creep me out. I mean, I thought I was the only person who could do that! This cruel unforgiving world has finally given the poor people in the galaxy Flogwinilogfuelatagorastanangly a lion.

Anyways bye until I post again.

P.S. Also, my apologies for any offence caused to Basset's, the manufacturor of jelly babies, in this last post. Whatever I said was strictly in the name of humour. We both love jelly babies and all the other products made by Basset's.